I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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