thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
