Where is the hickey?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
