ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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