So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
