Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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