yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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