Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
