i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
