3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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