Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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