Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
