How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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