Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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