Will you blow on my dice?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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