He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
