I accidentally had phone sex last night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
