are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
