You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
