Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
