he wants to bone in the snuggie
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
