It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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