i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
