I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
