I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
