you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
