Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize