You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
