You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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