girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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