Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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