Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
