I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize