so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
