I will die if light touches me.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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