I accidentally burped into my bong.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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