hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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