I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
