how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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