are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
