we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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