So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize