butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
