It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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