It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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