my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
