just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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