There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
