Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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