got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
