you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
