Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
FUCK WHALES
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
