Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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