like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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