And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
only if we run a train.
done.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
