He told me they were just razor bumps!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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