even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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