just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
