I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
