How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The air was thick with penises
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you made out with another girl for some wings
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
