Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
