there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize