Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
