Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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