I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize