You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
