Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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