Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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