hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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