ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What a dumb baby whore.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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